Gavin Newsom Tries to Relate to Black People by Saying ‘I’m a 960 SAT Guy. I Cannot Read’

In a stunning display of empathy that only a career politician could pull off, California Governor Gavin Newsom recently graced Atlanta with his presence for a book tour stop promoting his memoir Young Man in a Hurry. The event, held alongside Atlanta Mayor Andre Dickens, was meant to showcase Newsom’s vulnerability and relatability. Instead, it delivered one of the most spectacular self-owns in modern political history.

Yes, the man who runs the world’s fifth-largest economy, jets between French Laundry dinners and Sacramento, and has spent years positioning himself as a 2028 presidential contender thought the key to bonding with Black voters was bragging about below-average test scores and admitting he struggles to read prepared remarks—due to his well-documented dyslexia.

But let’s be honest—this wasn’t about dyslexia awareness. This was peak pandering, the kind where a multimillionaire elite from one of America’s most privileged upbringings decides the fastest way to seem “down” is to lower the bar for everyone else. It’s the political equivalent of showing up to a barbecue in flip-flops and saying, “See? I’m casual too!” while everyone else is wondering why you’re comparing your C- average to their lived experiences.

Newsom’s defenders insist he was just sharing his personal story to humanize himself. Fair enough—dyslexia is a legitimate challenge, and he’s spoken about it before. But context matters. Dropping your mediocre SAT score as proof of solidarity in a room full of people who’ve overcome far steeper obstacles (and where the Atlanta mayor himself graduated from Georgia Tech, one of the nation’s top engineering schools) lands somewhere between tone-deaf and insulting.

In the end, the clip racked up tens of millions of views, proving once again that nothing goes viral faster than a politician trying way too hard to be relatable. Gavin Newsom didn’t just miss the mark—he launched himself into orbit around it.

So the next time a Democrat lectures about equity and understanding, just remember: their idea of connecting sometimes involves reminding you they’re barely literate by their own standards. Truly inspiring stuff.

At I Can’t Believe It’s Not Satire, we salute Governor Newsom for once again proving that reality remains the best comedy writer in the business. Keep those memoirs coming—we’re all dying to see what low bar he sets next.